Is Being Frugal Frowned Upon by Western Society?

Posted by admin on March 12, 2008 in Money Saving Techniques

Yesterday, I wrote about ways of saving money which is, in some respects, a prelude to today’s post. I have previously interviewed Alan Corey who became a millionaire before he was 30. One of his biggest strategy on reaching his goal was to save money- over 60% of his income through a wide variety of techniques including eating a lot of instant noodles, going on cheap dates and watching every penny. Alan recently got called out on some of his money saving techniques being unethical. Alan’s response is here (readers: let me hear your thoughts).

I don’t agree 100% with all of Alan’s budgetary measures- the popcorn trick seems dodgy to me. But, not addressing the calling out per se, there seems to be an underlining tone in western society that being frugal is somehow unbecoming of us. Haggling, a staple of cultures in other parts of the world, is seen as “low class” in the west. In some stores in China, haggling is being replaced by set prices as a symbolism of its growing middle class sensibility. We tend to mock those who save pennies and lauded those who spend beyond their means. Our economy is fueled by consumption and we are labeled unpatriotic if we don’t buy a SUV (Ben Bernanke: please stop lowering interest rates and throwing fuel into the inflationary fires; you can lead a spent consumer to water but you can’t make it drink from the credit pool).

I noticed when reporters review Alan’s book (note to media- remember he’s a comedian; literalism is not really the journalist bent you should be taking in this context) there’ s an underlying sub-text of “well, if it requires me being cheap to be a millionaire then I am not doing it since its so unbecoming darling.” Obviously, there’s a fine line to be drawn between being cheap and miser but, as a society, we really have our values backwards. We mock those who conserve and save (and, how ironic, that “green” is being used as a selling tool now) and, at the same time, complain about how broke we always are not putting two and two together.

Anyone ever get grief for being frugal? Is your partner frugal and its a source of tension? What’s the fine line between being frugal and just a financial kill-joy?

9 Comments on Is Being Frugal Frowned Upon by Western Society?

By guinness416 on March 12, 2008 at 4:17 pm

I’m pretty sure I’m not as hyper-frugal as some bloggers I’ve read, but personally have never had any issues with telling friends or family “I can’t afford that – I’m saving for X”.

It’s all about tone, ain’t it? People are quite understanding and supportive when you can articulate WHY you’re not travelling to the wedding/buying a new coat this year/sponsoring their latest charity bike ride/whatever, and offer an alternative. The potentially insulting “we don’t spend money on those kind of things” response or continual refusal of someone’s invitations won’t be so successful.

And maybe I’m just surrounded by unusually level-headed people, but I don’t really recognize the McMansion-dwelling straw man merrily spending his way through Best Buy over the course of a few weekends.

By Dad2KG on March 12, 2008 at 5:29 pm

Yes, I’ve received grief for being frugal, but only from those people who don’t understand the difference between being frugal and being a miser (i.e., they treat the terms as interchangable). It’s possible to be both frugal and happy, but I think that being a miser brings mostly misery.

By Re: money on March 12, 2008 at 8:42 pm

Public displays of frugality are never an issue for me but I find it amusing when people at the checkout won’t dispute a price, even when they know it’s supposed to be lower. They’ll mumble something like “I thought it was $2.49, but oh well”. They look *ashamed* to bring it up.

By Investoid on March 13, 2008 at 12:01 am

Good post Thicken, it had me thinking all day, but about more than how society views frugality. It made me think about how frugality is portrayed by some of those who live it and its true purpose.

I see the bloggers, authors and others who are so fixated on achieving ‘financial freedom’ or amassing a huge savings account as missing the point. I understand the desire to leave unsatisfying jobs, stick it to the man, etc. But what I fail to see time and time again with most of these individuals is the underlying reason to have the money other than in of itself. To me an end goal to have as much money as you want/need to retire in whatever frugal lifestyle you choose isn’t that different from the person who’s working solely for their large salary so they can buy $10K suits or the new Maserati. Either is devoid of meaning.

I believe the key is to define and build a purpose driven life. With that life, you will still be working, have obligations and be required to do stuff you don’t always want to do. But you will feel fulfilled more than saving for early retirement can ever bring you. The goal is to ensure you relax when you need to, but don’t stop all meaningful activity. It will also near-automatically bring you to a place where you spend money on what matters to you (if that’s the new Maserati, so be it), while avoiding spending money on things. When you reach this point, what society says has and hasn’t value doesn’t matter anymore – it’s what you think does. So you may appear frugal in some respects, while in others people may not believe how much you’re spending given your income level.

I used to try and be frugal with everything, but I found that to be a rather excruciating daily exercise that made life bland. So instead I realized what I wanted to have and got fulfilled by and focused my funds on that, while I avoided spending money on things that didn’t matter to me. So I spend a lot of money on healthy, convenient food (both at home and going out with friends 2-3 times a week), but I don’t have a large house given my income level (and am resisting the temptation to keep up with my friends who are now buying very large and glamorous places). For me good friends and good times are more important than buying a big house to impress that will take me more time/money to clean, won’t be entirely used, etc.

I’m not saying that all people who espouse frugality have no good reason for doing so. I know some want to spend time with family, travel, or whatever. But I do find that the end goal is often lost in the details of saving every last penny. I also think that sacrificing now for later is overemphasized to the point where current well being is damaged. A good example would be the ramen noodles, with their questionable nutritional value. I personally don’t see the value in putting off so much for the hope of a better tomorrow when you’re negatively affecting yourself today, and that tomorrow may never come for whatever reason (death, accident, whatever).

Sorry for the rambling, as you can tell it’s been awhile since I’ve blogged and I’m out of practice. I’m going to go relax in my hot tub and get a good night’s rest now.

By admin on March 13, 2008 at 10:03 am

Investoid- welcome back to the blogging world. Good to see you have come up for air. You certainly made some good points that saving money for the sake of money is an empty game in and of itself but if there is a purpose behind it (i.e. I can retire early and pursue a passion) then I am all for it.

By hank on March 14, 2008 at 12:15 pm

I don’t necessarily think it is “frowned on” to be frugal, maybe just “shrugged off” when people use the term. It’s not a bad word, or a sign of the poor. Rich people are OFTEN times frugal as well (Ebinezer Scrooge comes to mind).

By Riscario Insider on March 15, 2008 at 1:23 am

Investoid makes interesting points. There is something to be said for spending money to make money (which the $10K suits and Maserati might do if looking successful helps make one successful). Paying off a mortgage quickly can be an excellent goal but that may mean having no money to “live” (e.g., travel or other experiences). I realize there’s plenty of subjectivity in deciding what’s “right”.

I see people of retirement age with oodles of money. You wouldn’t realize their affluence based on how they live. They are financially successful, but have they lived? Can they drastically change their engrained habits now?

We need to develop our priorities based on what’s important to us, which may be out of sync with society. But that’s okay. It takes more courage to live life on our own terms. Whether “frugal” or “frivolous”.

By Personal Budget on September 28, 2008 at 4:47 pm

Like anything you can take frugality too far.

You have to give yourself a break now and then, life is too short.

Being frugal ‘all the time’ can become an addictive life style. After all look at how many people are frugal to the max all their lives, then they retire and they can’t change the habit (it happens, I’ve seen it in several people). When they die they end up leaving all their money (which is sometimes a lot) to their kids. They got so caught up in not spending one cent more for anything that they never got a chance to enjoy anything what they worked so hard for.

Instead, develop a plan, stay on a budget and reward yourself now and then. Being frugal is ok just don’t let it control you.

By thinkergal on February 21, 2011 at 12:49 pm

My husband & I live in a modest home that we can afford. I’ve had to deal with snide looks & comments from those more affluent on many occasions. Meanwhile we live within our means, have manageable debt & will pay off our home well before we retire. And kids would be great but with daycare being $1000 month per child, we simply can’t afford them, which is also criticized.