Our regular columnist , Mom2KG, checks in with her monthly column. As per your request, I have (finally) given Mom2KG a well-deserved category of her own. As usual, comments are highly encouraged from readers.
Thanks so, so much to everyone who posted with their thoughts on my July post. As always, there were lots of good suggestions, but the encouragement really helped me.
We have gone to see a new financial advisor, recommended by our tax guy. He was certainly nice, but he didn’t wow us with anything exciting. And he’s leery of real estate investing (as was a poster from July), something we’re interested in, so he may not be the guy for us. (Caveat – yeah, I know I’ve mentioned this ad nauseam and never seem to get anything done about it. It’s been a busy summer, okay?) But he’s going to draft a plan for our review. He sang the same old song of long-term conservative investing being the best bet. Ho hum. (Not to mention, my husband has had his RRSPs in super-low-risk mutual funds for fifteen years, and his portfolio is worth only slightly more now than at inception. We only have so many 15-year increments in our investing careers, and can’t afford another one like that. How long is long-term?) Are we expecting too much? Should all investments be self-directed? We are actually moving that way, and will soon consider ditching all mutual funds.
Very interesting comments on what people out there count as savings. I am all for counting RRSPs, RESPs (there was some dissent on that) and the extra mortgage payments as savings – it’s all part of net worth, right? Seems straightforward to me. Tell me how to convince my husband. He refuses to count anything other than cold hard cash sitting safely in a high-interest bank account as savings. I went online and did a comprehensive net worth statement, and showed it to him – he made a pfffft sound which I interpreted as “I am entirely dismissing your attempt to argue a financial point other than my own. Your so-called net worth statement is nothing to me, woman.”
I suppose this is why TMW asked me to blog on this as a family matter – how do two people, both well read and reasonably informed, working towards the same goals, sort out issues like this? This is, I will say, exceptionally frustrating. I was, as I noted last month, disappointed not to have met our savings goals (as in cold hard cash), but as many readers pointed out, we’re doing quite well with other forms of money management and allocation. My husband cannot seem to accept this, grieving anew each month. (I am, of course, utterly blameless in our financial sins- statement made with tongue firmly planted in cheek.)
TWM asked what our goals are. My husband has an idea about retiring at 55 and sitting on a beach. Won’t that be great…for six weeks? I think of all the things we’ve planned and fought over, that vision is actually the least realistic, but I frankly haven’t put much thought into it. I’m the first to admit, the point is probably having that option, though acting on it is another matter. Goals – life-long and short-term – were mentioned in the July comments, and I will try to set down my own as a financial exercise.
We’re both career-driven, both sets of parents are still working, happily, into their sixties (though they are financially set). You can see – this is a long road to financial happiness, and it’s not the money (or lack of it) standing in our way. There’s a fundamental divide in that it’s not even clear what we’re working towards, in terms of family plans (of course we have some concrete goals).
And there’s perhaps an even greater divide between my husband and I when it comes to attitudes towards money. He thinks I’m the prodigal wife; I think I’m reasonable. I think he’s needlessly frugal; he thinks we’re on the brink of bankruptcy. Is every couple like this? How do we reconcile these two solitudes?



